There are so many times that I desperately wanna go back. Back in time, back to Virginia, back to old friends, back to memories. I hope that when we die, we get to watch all our old memories on a tv screen, or better yet, go into a simulator or something to relive good memories. Oh don't you wish!
I have this little book next to my bed. It's a gospel art book. I absolutely LOVE gospel art. The title of it is "Wherever He Leads Me." I bought it a week before moving.
How I love this little book! Today, some of my old friends contacted me, and we talked a while. And it was just so sad. Because people keep living without you there. Life goes on. After that kinda ruining my night (it was great to hear from them, but it just made me sad ) I felt like I should listen to the hymn "I'll Go Where You Want Me To Go." I knew most of the words, but not all of them. This phrase really stuck out to me:
But if, by a still, small voice he calls
To paths that I do not know,
I’ll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in thine:
I’ll go where you want me to go.
So trusting my all to thy tender care,
And knowing thou lovest me,
I’ll do thy will with a heart sincere:
I’ll be what you want me to be.
I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and has power to do all things, including letting all things work together for my good. He knows what is best for me, even if I do not. And he will guide me step by step, holding my hand. So I need to submit to his will.
But why is it so hard in the moment?
I'm going to kinda piggy-back off of Marie-Rose's post here from Hope Always And Pray Constantly. I think the reason why life is so hard is because we don't see all the pieces of the puzzle. We feel so small, and we're trying to stretch really high so we can see what the final picture is supposed to look like, but it just isn't working. Our scope is too small, and we can't see all the puzzle pieces, much less envision what the beautiful picture will be.
This is because we do not have an eternal perspective. But guess what? There is one person who sees all the puzzle pieces, and he knows exactly how they should all fit together and what amazing thing they can make in the end! Heavenly Father has a eternal perspective and knows what will best lead us to that happily ever after that we want. Sadly, it is kind of impossible to reach amazing things without going beyond our comfort zone.
We need to trust Heavenly Father. I need to. Sometimes I wish I was back in Virginia. I think of all the good I could be doing there, and all the comfort and love I would feel. But other times I am so grateful to live here, and thank Him for showing me love and peace and goodness.
I will go where he wants me to go. I will be what he wants me to be.
PS whew! That feels so much better, doesn't it?