Spirit is Willing, Flesh is Weak

(copyright Intellectual Reserve)

Aw you guys! A bit disappointed in myself... The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, and I'm feeling it today.

This morning I prayed for an opportunity to share the gospel. Then I remembered someone I could share it with.

A couple weeks ago I gave a Book of Mormon to my friend for Christmas. The gift of the joy and peace that comes from the gospel is the best gift you could ever give to somebody. But I always get super nervous at the moment of missionary work. While my ideals and intentions are good, I end up tongue tied and anxious. So i decided to write my testimony inside of it and wrap it up do I wouldn't have to talk about it right then and there. First mistake, because while it saves my anxiety right then and there, it causes for a lot of trouble later.

The first day back from winter break, I was SUPER nervous. Like seriously, about to throw up. It wasn't that I was ashamed of the gospel, just that even without fear I get flushed and it's embarrassing and everyone starts looking at me concerned like "are you okay?" And then I get stuttery and troubled, and try to end the awkward conversation. (I've gotten a lot better, because it only gets comfortable with practice ;)

Well, the first day back, neither of us saw each other. I was getting more relaxed as the week went by. Maybe I wouldn't need to talk to her about it and embarrass myself.

But then this morning, I decided that if I got the chance, I would bear my testimony to her. Agh! Stupid natural man. Because guess what? After two weeks of not bringing it up, she finally thanked me for it. There was my chance. And I blew it. I don't think I'm going to even write what I said. It was just totally not what I had wanted, and I had let my fear come before following the Spirit.

Even though I feel like I messed up pretty bad, I think at this point, it's the best I can do. I put my best into my efforts, and tomorrow my best will be a little higher. Maybe I'll talk to her about it.

I tried my best while on the Lords errand, so I cannot fail. 

For next time though, I do think I need to remember that I am to be a tool, an instrument in the Lord's hand. He is the carpenter, and knows what we can do. If we just let him work through us, then miracles can happen. I will try to let The Lord work through me. You will too, won't you? For me? ;)

The Tree of Life

(copyright Intellectual Reserve and lds.org)

I'm so excited! In art class, we are having the opportunity to do self portraits in any way we like. At first I was a little unsure about it, because being the center of attention isn't too cool, but I have an idea!

I was thinking, and I realized there were not really very many widely known art pieces about the tree of life that are actually personal. They all show the grand scheme of things, but not a personal view. 

So I am going to draw myself reaching up and plucking off the fruit of the tree of life! 

For those who are unfamiliar with this story, it is found in 1 Nephi 7-11 or so (?). For those who are familiar, too bad! ;)

The tree of life was a dream that a prophet had. But I'll just describe what was in the dream. 

Many people were gathered, confused by the fog and storms and darkness of life. They were wandering, just like how we wander. Some of them found an iron rod suspended in the air, and grabbed hold of it. Looking down at their feet, they saw a straight and narrow path. If they followed that path and rod, they would reach a tree. Full of fruit and shining like the sun, the tree welcomed all to partake of its sweetness.

Across the way, a dirty river flowed. Across the river people laughed and spat and pointed fingers at the followers. They were rich and pleasurable, and some people who had reached the tree were ashamed. But those who had held fast to the iron rod were able to reach the tree and share the fruit with their families.

What did this dream mean? Well, that's what Nephi, a young man and the son of this prophet wanted to know. He prayed and asked God what it meant. An angel came to him and asked him what he thought the tree was. Nephi said he did not know the meaning of all things, but he knew that God loved his children (more on that in another post). The angel then showed him the vision and explained.

The tree of life is the love of God, and the fruit was the sweetest above all other fruits. The only way was by following the straight and narrow path and the iron rod to the tree. The iron rod was the word of God, and if we hold fast to it we can find our way through the mists of darkness to reach God's love. The word of God is found in the scriptures.

We need to make sure we find the iron rod and hold fast to it so that the people who laugh and mock us do not cause us to leave the light we've been given. As we keep progressing along the straight and narrow path, we will one day be able to bask in the light of God's love.

This past year, I have read my scriptures so much. I am so grateful to feel the love God has for me. If you want to feel it, read the scriptures. They will show you the way. God's love is the source of true happiness! I know that if you will search for him, and ask him if he loves you, you can receive a knowledge of that as well!

Come Unto Christ 2014

(Copyright Intellectual Reserve and lds.org)

Come Unto Christ is the youth theme for 2014! I love it!

We've had some great themes the past couple years. Keep arising and shining and standing and be not moved! But I think this years is amazing! Truly an inspired theme!

Moroni 10:32 says:

32 Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God. (Moroni 10:32)

I have personally felt the effects of coming to Christ. Truly, after being cleansed and forgiven and made perfect through Christ, there is no way I can now deny my testimony. I know that God lives and loves us, for he sent his son. I know for a fact that God is real and is watching over us, for he has changed things in my life I could not have changed by myself. Attitudes have been improved, thoughts have been purified, despair has been vanquished, and hope has replaced all the darkness of the world. There is no earthly or humanly possible way I could have done that on my own, for I had already tried. Only when I humbled myself and truly asked for God's help was I able to feel that peace.

To come unto Christ means to leave behind our doubt, fear, and sin, and humble ourselves. Let him heal you.

One of my other favorite parts of this verse is "his grace is sufficient." No matter how many mistakes you've made, no matter how many times you've stumbled or doubted or feared or rebelled, no matter how short you may fall of the glory of God, Christ's grace is sufficient for YOU. He loves  Helen, Mady, Rachel, Marie rose, Katie, Nicole, Sherri, Valerie, Caroline, mark, John, Amanda, Eliza, James, Seth, jack, Madison, Dylan, McKenna, Mckenzie, Gerdy, Mary, Alice, Tyler, Makayla, Adam, Stacy, Victoria, Brandon, Matthew, Max, Elizabeth, Samantha, Whitney, Brittany, Stephanie, Sarah, Gwen, Bryan, Brad, Gabby, Emily, Louiza, Lissa, Molly, Megan, Bailey, Parker, Brock, Austin, Jake, Lindsey, and: You. If I missed your name leave it in a comment and I'll add it on here, because Christ loves you.

Come unto Christ, and be perfected in him.

Run to Him

So tonight I thought I would tell you a story. You can find this story in the book of Enos in the Book of Mormon, on page 136-138.

 Enos was this guy. He lived with the Nephites, who are supposed to be the good guys, but most of the Nephites have been sinning lately, and do not believe in God any more. They do not put their trust in him like they used to.

 Well, Enos was caught up in all of this and didn't know what to do. His dad was the prophet (which means the person who received revelation from God for the group of people, who could talk to him and was a spokesperson for him), so naturally, Enos had been taught from a young age about the gospel. But now that all the good guys were kinda becoming bad guys and doubting, Enos didn't know what to believe.

 In Enos 1:1, he says his father was a just man. He knew his father loved him and was trustworthy. He also says his father had taught him the words if The Lord, and also the love of God. He was grateful that his dad was loving him enough to tell him these things, and knew his dad wouldn't lie to him, but he had to know if these things were true for himself.

 So one day he goes out to hunt. Basically he goes to work. When he's alone out in the forest, probably looking around him and wondering for the thousandth time if there truly is a creator, if his dad was telling the truth, if God really was there and loved him. He is remembering what his father said about eternal life, about the gospel, and then he remembers the "joy of the saints. " he says that these things sunk deep into his heart. He wanted the joy that the saints had, the joy that people who believed in God had, and he wanted to know if the words his father said were true. (1:3)

 Then in verse four, it says some of my favorite lines:  "And my soul hungered, and I kneeled down before my maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for my own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him."

 What happens when you are hungry? Your body is telling you that you are in dire need of nutrients and substance in order to have energy and continue working. But Enos had spiritual hunger. His spirit needed some nourishment, needed knowledge of the truth and needed to feel God's love. And he knew it. So he had to go find it.

 Matthew 5:6 says ( and really listen to this, this is Jesus Christ literally speaking) "Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled."

 And who better to fill that void than our Heavenly Father, who knows every need, every tear, every word?

 But notice Enos is not just praying. Prayer is an important part to gaining a testimony, but it is not everything. In verse two, it says he wrestled before God before he gained this knowledge and felt God's love. This means he was fighting with himself, his mind was telling him one thing while his heart told him another. He had to lay down his pride and ask for help. He had to struggle and labor in order to receive these blessings. God expects us to work hard and be patient for his blessings. Sometimes, it is extremely hard to trust this when it feels like he is not answering our prayer right away, or with a grand manifestation of his power.

 In verse five, he gets an answer: Enos, thy sins are forgiven thee, and thou shalt be blessed. In verse six, he says he knew God could not lie, so he was troubled no more and at peace. But then he asked how in the world he could be blessed with this gift of forgiveness and knowledge.

  Verse 8: "And he said unto me; Because of thy faith in Christ, whom thou hast never before heard nor seen. And many years shall pass away before he shall manifest himself in the flesh. Wherefore, go to, thy faith hath made thee whole. "

 Check out the last verse, verse 27. Listen to all the things that he knows. This is many years later, after he has been faithful and believing for a while, and is on the right path. He says he will:
•soon die, but is not scared
 •knows he will see his redeemer (Christ)
•knows he is forgiven of his sins and has joy that comes with that
•is looking forward to the day of resurrection when the righteous will receive perfect bodies and will live forever in happiness
•knows he will see God face to face (imagine that!)
• and Heavenly Father will be proud of him, and has a place in heaven reserved for him

 Don't you wish you could have that knowledge? I know I do. I'm far from that faith, but I'm slowly getting there :). When I have those days of doubt and despair, I think of all these things that Enos mentioned, I think of the end result: someday I will get to run into Jesus's arms and hug him and thank him and thank him and thank him for all that he has done for me. I will be able to see him and say "i love you" in person. That is what helps me have faith to reach up to the light through all this darkness.

I can't wait to hug him. 

<3 Eliza

Ps. This is David Bowman's painting titled Security